Tuesday, May 19, 2009

My baby isn't a baby anymore

Tomorrow is my only child's last day of kindergarten. Last week, she celebrated her 6th birthday. I swear it was just yesterday that she was born or walking for the first time. I really cannot believe that 6 years have gone by since my daughter made her first appearance on Mother's Day, 2003. Best. Gift. Ever.


We've traded diapers, sippy cups and Dora the Explorer for big girl undies, Capri Sun juice boxes and Hannah Montana. For her 6th birthday, Lauren and Lindsey got her a massive Hannah Montana dress up set. I mean massive...wig, lipgloss, costume, microphone and fake purple nails with "Hannah Montana" painted on them.



Madelyn took it upon herself to unpack all of the HM goods and proceeded to put on every item that came with the set, including the fake nails. Why they put more than 10 fake nails in the "kit" is beyond me. However, being the resourceful 6 year old that she is, Madelyn would NOT let the extra 10 nails go to waste....so smart.



I digress....the point of this entry was to write down the sweetest words that Madelyn said to me tonight. I was holding her like a baby (a 45 pound baby) and rocking her and she said, "Momma, I will never be too big to sit in your lap and I'll even let you rock me when I'm a teenager." I actually shed a tear and told her that not only would I never forget that, I'd never let her forget it either.

The importance of being....grammatically correct

Lately, more so than ever, bad grammar has really grated on my nerves. I can really handle bad spelling, but bad grammar, just does not set well with me at all. I'm not going to preach on punctuation, because personally, I think I overuse commas (my favorite punctuation mark, by the way). I consider this blog entry a public service announcement and I hope many people will spread the word.

Today's PSA is all about correct word usage. Sounds boring, right? Well, it is a little, but it is massively important - especially if you don't want to sound like an idiot or get on my nerves.

The first portion of this entry is about the use of your and you're.

You're is a contraction of you are. Example: You're getting on my nerves.
Your shows possession. Example: Your momma _______ (fill in the blank with your favorite "your momma" joke).

Oh yeah - it's not U R either. Freakin' spell it out, captain lazy.

The second portion of the PSA is about the proper use of their, there and they're.

They're is a contraction of they are. Example: They're coming to take me away!
Their shows possession. Example: Off with their heads!
There tells location. Example: The truth is out there.

Last, but most certainly not least; it's and its. Just break out the contraction, people! It's = it is and its shows possession. Examples: It's about time. Bless its heart!

So, in closing - before you click send on that e-mail to your boss, your friend or your client - don't just click "spell check". Take a quick second to check your word usage too. Trust me, the recipient of your correspondence will appreciate it, especially if that recipient is me!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Top 12 signs you're addicted to Twitter


I know you just got a little giddy when you saw Twitter in the title of this blog. I got giddy just typing it. After some discussion last week, it was decided that Whiskey Belle's next "Top Twelve Tuesday" list would be regarding our (mine, Whiskey Belle's and Sister Belle's) addiction to the fabulous social networking site, Twitter. In Whiskey Belle's honor, I now present you with the "Top 12 signs you're addicted to Twitter."


12. You haven't updated your Myspace or Facebook status in weeks.

11. You put an @ symbol in front of any person's name that you type. i.e. @lindsey_brooks @TheLB601 or @kelli_h (follow us!!)

10. You know what the "Fail Whale" is, and you loathe it.



9. You search http://www.wefollow.com/ on a daily basis for new twitterers...or is it twits? tweeps? tweeters?

8. You can make 100+ words that contain some form of the word "twitter".

7. You talk about Dane Cook/Perez Hilton/Kim Kardashian like you're all BFFs.

6. You've seen more pics of Bronx & Harlow than the paparazzi.

5. You watched Ashton Kutcher get his chest waxed.

4. You follow the local weatherman's tweets rather than tune in to the forecast on TV. Thank you @Eric_Law_WLBT !

3. Your blood pressure actually rises when you see the Fail Whale. How can it be "over capacity" at 4AM ?!?!?!?

2. You live for #followfriday and #musicmonday.

And the number 1 sign that you're addicted to Twitter:

You desperately want Perez to reply (kindly) to one of your tweets.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Saturday night's alright for snow, beer, dancing and a little Spitfire at the Waffle House


I’m not sure if I should have taken it as a good omen or a bad omen, but it snowed in Central Mississippi on Saturday night. You know how people supposedly go crazy when there’s a full moon? Well, the same thing happens when it snows this far south.


We had procured a babysitter for Saturday night, so we planned a night out. 9:30 PM rolled around and we were just walking out the door because Nathan was still recovering from the gumbo cook off earlier that day. It was snowing furiously by the time we hit the highway.

The night started off uneventful enough. All of our friends were already at the bar and had scored a table next to the dance floor. We started a tab and started the night with a coors light and a bloody mary. The shindig was in full swing.

After a couple of hours in, one guy in the group got cut off by the bartenders. Apparently, he’d had a couple too many. About an hour after that, another friend of ours got kicked out of the bar for showing his ass-literally. He did leave his huggie behind, though, and because it said “LoadMaster”, it was the source of many a giggle for the rest of the night.

Around midnight, the Nerd Herd graced the bar with their presence. There were three girls and one guy; one really large, curly-headed guy…complete with moobs and a Harry Potter scarf. They all seriously needed a visit from the dancing fairy. All the bad dancing clichés were present; the side-to-side step (i.e. Courtney Cox’s dance on the Bruce Springsteen video circa 1984), the high school slow dance dance, and one rare gem; the plant-your-feet-shoulder-length- apart-and-just-bounce-up -and-down dance – all off beat of course. This quartet made for a good hour of entertainment.

Around 1:30 AM, we decided to head to the Waffle House. There’s something mouthwatering about a ham & cheese omelet after a night at the bar. The high point of the Waffle House visit was the extremely gay server. He had on the shiniest pants I had ever seen on a man. He had long fingernails and was VERY feminine. There was split second when we thought HE might be a SHE. That’s when I decided to let his/her nametag answer my question. His name was “Spitfire.” Seriously; I can’t make this stuff up.

While I was paying the check (Spitfire was ringing us up), Nathan decided to ask Spitfire if that was his real name. Spitfire replied, “Oh no honey. That’s just my nickname. My real name is Patch.”


Thursday, February 26, 2009

Hello. My name is Kelli, and I am addicted to Barnes & Noble.

And that is what I should say every time I swipe that “Barnes & Noble Member Card” at the B & N checkout counter. The Member Card is not one of those free keychain cards, like the Kroger card or the Petsmart card (you could also insert footlocker, cvs, brookshires, vitamin world, etc…). You have to actually pay for the Member Card. You swipe the card and get 10% off your coffee at the Starbucks Café. Members get an extra 30% off of all best sellers and 10% off everything else in the store. Members also get kick ass coupons sent to their e-mail. Seriously, I had to get my husband to build me a bookshelf to put in my bedroom just to support my habit.

Last week, I visited Barnes & Noble 3 times. Out of those 3 visits, I came home with 6 books and 2 magazines for myself, 2 books for my husband and 3 books for my 5 year old daughter. And that was a slow week.

I am not one to read just one book at a time either. I am currently reading 7 books (technically 8) and I’m sure after my weekly visit to B & N on Sunday, I’ll add one or two more to that. I always keep one book in my car and I read it when I’m sitting in traffic. I usually keep another one in my purse and read it when I’m in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, waiting for my oil to be changed, or waiting for Madelyn’s gymnastics class to be over. The others are in a stack by my bed or stashed in various locations around the house.

Books currently in my queue:

New Moon by Stephenie Meyer – I actually have 2 copies of the first two books in the Twilight series. One copy of New Moon is my “car book” and one is in the stack by my bed. I have read the entire series twice; this is my 3rd go round.

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath – This book is amazing. Sylvia Plath was so descriptive with her writing and you actually “live” the main characters nervous breakdown. P.S. This book is semi-autobiographical. She just changed the names of the people in the book and wrote it under a pseudonym (Victoria Lucas) so as not to hurt her mother. I guess there’s something to be said about someone who commits suicide by sticking their head inside a gas oven.

Ariel: Poems by Sylvia Plath – Want to feel better about your life? Read some Sylvia Plath poetry. She was totally screwed up (hence the suicide) and you can read it in her “confessional” poetry. I’m not a fan of poetry, but there’s something about her writing draws me in.

The Journals of Sylvia Plath - I’m intrigued by her writing, the fiction and the truth. I haven’t started reading the journals yet, but I’m sure they’ll have a striking resemblance to The Bell Jar.

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon – I usually tote this one in my purse. Most of the chapters are short and to the point. It’s fiction and the main character has Asberger’s Syndrome (a mild form of autism). He has a problem with emotions and relating to people, but he knows every prime number up to 7,057. The book is about him writing a murder mystery about the neighbor’s dog getting killed. The chapters are not numbered cardinally (1, 2, 3, 4...)….he numbers them with prime numbers.

The Interpretation of Dreams by Sigmund Freud - I have barely cracked this one, but so far, it is interesting to see how mental disorders were treated, diagnosed and rationalized by Freud in the late 1800s. I do have to keep a dictionary handy when I’m reading this one. Those damn smart folks tend to use big words!

Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons – I desperately want to see the movie, but I will NOT see a movie until I have read the book. Seriously, Marley & Me and Atonement are both on my bookshelf, and I refuse to watch the movies until I read them. This one though, is tricky. It’s a graphic novel. AKA, a really LONG comic book. I’m trudging through it, slowly but surely.

In summation, if you see a book at B & N or Borders and wonder if it’s worth reading…you might want to ask me, because I probably either own it already, have read it already or it’s on my “to buy” list.

Words & Phrases to love & hate



Hate 'em:

Stimulus - For one, it sounds dirty. It does make me giggle, but I wish they could think of something else to call the proposed economy revival plan. It’s even worse when they combine it with “package.”

Any combination of a man’s name and a woman’s name that is meant to describe them as a couple; for example, “Bennifer” or “Brangelina” – the reason for this should be rather obvious.

Bailout – It’s not that I hate this word I just disagree with the principle behind it. Pouring our hard-earned tax dollars into banks and auto companies where the chances of the funds being used to pay for executive bonuses, executive retreats and private jets are high…yeah, that sounds like a brilliant plan.

Chillaxin’ – It’s just stupid.

Tramp Stamp – One tattoo on the small of her back does not a tramp make. I, myself, loving wife and mother with a respectable job, have a tattoo on my lower back as do several of my friends and even a couple of my family members. I dare you to call any one of us a tramp. We’ll F- you up.

Love 'em:

Douchebaggery – Yes it’s a made up word, but it’s still funny. I believe the technical definition would be “what a douche bag is guilty of or famous for.” Ever since I heard it used on a TV show a couple of weeks ago to describe Criss Angel, I haven’t been able to stop laughing about it.

Really? – I like being able to be sarcastic with just one word.

O M G – It’s usually best when you drag out the sound of each letter individually and it’s definitely better than taking the Lord’s name in vain.

Concur - I don't just agree; I concur.

Mangas and Horno - I get an e-mail at work every day containing the "Spanish Word of the Day." My all time faves are "mangas" (sleeves) and "horno" (oven). We have tricks up our mangas and we pre-heat the horno. Oh yeah, if you're going to cook in the oven, that's "hornee". Seriously, look it up.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

I'm the train they call the City of New Orleans -oldie

November 11, 2008

I think fall might be my favorite time of year in the South. The leaves look like this massive pallet of colors that is nearly impossible for man to replicate. The yellow leaves are the color of sun shining through honey. The smell of firewood burning is almost always in the air. When the sun is beating down on you and the breeze is blowing...it's an amazing feeling. I am describing a day exactly like today. We (Nathan, Madelyn and I) are heading to New Orleans for the weekend.

There is something about the city of New Orleans that I am in love with. In all of its glorious nastiness, there is a beautiful and rich history. I also have this morbid attraction to the cemeteries. Not because they are all full of dead people, but because of the fact that all of the tombs are above the ground. It has everything to do with New Orleans, Louisiana being a cereal bowl, literally. A bowl that is always in danger of flooding (hello, Katrina).

There is also something about the culture. The Cajuns, the voodoo, the bayou, the French Market, the artists that faithfully put their work out to sell every day, and the French Quarter. If you have ever been to New Orleans, you know that the list above could go on and on forever.

Right now, I am watching the sunlight twinkle on the water of Lake Pontchartrain on what seems like THE longest bridge EVER. I am reminded of the time, after my sister-in-law's bachelorette party, when we were driving across the dreaded bridge. We missed our turn to get on I-55...twice. Which, to those of you that have never traversed said bridge, means we had to cross the interminable bridge THREE times. All the while, my poor sister-in-law is on the verge of puking the contents of her stomach into a plastic trash bag that I stole from the hotel. The night before was a long one...consisting of hand grenades, shots, fake vampires, and crazy taxi rides. But dammit, we had fun. Even though the ride home was less than ideal, we will never hold it against the fabulous city of New Orleans.