I'll show you my redneck Christmas spirt, crazy Volvo lady! -oldie

I tend to get into some weird situations sometimes. This one happens to be one of my favorites. It all went down in December of 2005. It went a little (or a lot) like this....

The craziest thing happened to me today. A crazy lady in a volvo.

First, let me give you some background for those of you that don't know. I'm from Tennessee, but I am a resident of Mississippi and have been for about 6 years now. Anyway, my car still has Tennessee tags on it. (long story, don't ask)

So, there I am at Wal-Mart. I had just finished the first round of Christmas shopping, and feeling pretty good about it too. I was in a good mood, and I still had 10 minutes before I had to be at work. I was being a good little driver, and using the road around the parking lot, rather than cutting through the parking lot. This lady, in a Volvo, decides to cut through the parking lot, and apparently thinks I'm going to let her cut me off, and get in front of me in the line of cars waiting to get out of the parking lot. She edged the front of her car out into the parking lot and I just turned the wheel a bit, and went around her. Well, she pulled out behind me. When we stopped, she got OUT of her car, and walked up and knocked on my window. I was laughing. I guess she expected me to be pissed off... Anyway, I rolled the window down and the conversation went like this....

Me: "Can I help you?"

Volvo Lady: "That is THE rudest thing I've ever seen! Where is your Christmas spirit?!?" (I'm thinking "You'll see my Christmas spirit when I'm pulling my size 8 foot out of..." you get the picture.)

Me: "I'm sorry, but I like to use the road as it is intended and not be rude and cut through the parking lot and expect people to let me cut in line."

Volvo Lady: "Is that how they teach you people to drive in Florida?"

Me: "Where in the HELL did you get Florida from?"

Volvo Lady: "Your license plate."

Me: "Um, if you could read, you'd see that my license plate says Tennessee."

Volvo Lady: "Redneck!" (then she storms off dramatically)

Meanwhile, I'm laughing hysterically, as Volvo Lady tries to make her dramatic exit, she realizes that when she got out of her car, she locked the door. And now she can't get back in. I said out loud to myself "Karma's a bitch lady!" That was the greatest Christmas present ever!

Here's to you Crazy Volvo Lady! Merry Christmas!